Tuesday, December 22, 2009

In Case I Stand One Little Chance

I haven't had a pathetic girl night home alone in a very long time. I'm sure many of you, including my subconscious would beg to differ and would say that every night (and day) of my life is a pathetic girl night. While this is partially true, I haven't sat around being depressed and drinking along since I lived by myself. The good ol' days. I'm actually not depressed, I got bored and wanted to take a break from writing my parent's Christmas presents so I decided to eat something. Then I realized I have a whole refrigerator full of beer from the party we had on Sunday. After popping one open I saw that "He's Just Not That Into You" had just begun on t.v. I forgot how I told myself I'd never watch that movie because I live it. So I watched it. And it was the most depressing movie ever. I'm surprised I didn't cry. That movie is my life. I am every single one of those women characters. UGH. It didn't help that I was already drinking alone. This is what suicides are made of. That movie made me never want to date again. Ever. Then I kept thinking about Mr. Big, and how I'm back to wondering when I'll hear from him. It was so good for a month and a half not to be waiting. Yet at the same time I rather have him in my life than not. Can I be an exception and not a rule? I always thought our entire friendship was an exception and not a rule and that's why I've known him for all this years.
Onto a completely random subject. I can't believe that Christmas Eve is in two days. Where does time go? I'm kind of dreading working New Year's Eve, for whatever reason I don't think it's going to be fun like last year. Plus I keep repeatedly playing Ella Fitzgerald's version of "What Are You Doing New Year's Eve," and it makes me wish I was doing something fabulous with someone wonderful. I haven't gotten a kiss at midnight since I was 19. Potentially I could make decent money though, and I'll be drinking while I'm there, so I guess it's not a total bust.
I wish I knew where my camera disappeared to Sunday night.

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