Thursday, February 18, 2010


You were in my dreams last night. I'm always shocked, both in my conscious and unconscious mind when you appear. After arriving at my parents' former house at the shore, one you've never been to, my mom calls me to the front door, saying someone is there to see me. Her voice sounded shakey and uneasy. "Who could possibly be here to see me?" I thought, "No one I know lives around here." I come to the door, in my pajamas, hair a mess, and there you are. Even though this all took place in the present day, I was so happy to see you. (Now, this all actually happened in real life, years ago. But we were still together and I had just gotten home from a cruise. It was Easter. It was Easter in my dream too.) Your first words to me were, "I read all the nice things you wrote about me." (You wouldn't tell me where you read this), and then you said, "It's over." Every time you appear in a dream of mine, which isn't often, that's what you've always come to tell me. That you've broken up with her. And every time I hear that, I'm always so ecstatic and throw my arms around your neck and start kissing questions asked.

I kind of wish I didn't have these dreams. I would like to know what's going on in my brain that allows for me to have them. I wonder if I ever show up in your dreams. Every time I have these dreams I wake up right afterwards, as though my brain won't allow them to continue. And everytime I wake up I'm kind of sad. I don't like feeling sad over a dream...especially one I was so happy in.

I saw this on Post-Secret this past weekend, and I hoped that maybe you sent it in...the first part certainly, and unfortunately, rings true.

I wish we could be friends, beyond wishing each other happy birthday, and see each other once in awhile, even though I don't deserve that at all. My mom always said I met you at the wrong time in my life. If only I had been 25. I hope you're truly happy with her, and haven't stayed with her this long because it's the easy thing to do.